My Hero

On one of the many ventures of Mandie Pants, I was a babysitter. A lady came through my line today and inspired me to write this about one of the most influential ladies in my life. I started working for a family that I will not disclose the name of, when I was about 16 years old. The mother of the house was a doctor, a wife, a mother of two, and happy! She had suffered the loss of a child which is something that no one can understand or relate to unless you have personally been in that situation. She had a daughter that had medical issues and required more care than most children and when I came along had adopted an infant boy. I didn't realize any of my family issues at the time but I look back now and reflect from the time I was able to spend in that household. It was so peaceful there and everyone just seemed so normal compared to what I was used to. At night when they would come home she would always talk to me and let me vent about my problems and just listen and give advice. I always wanted to make her proud but I knew that she didn't know the real me. The real me that had come from a mentally abusive father that had a drug problem. The girl who wanted to be the best and not be like the house she grew up in but still carried the heavy burden with her everywhere she went. I still feel like she may have known deep down and that is why she always talked to me and made me feel important. I am very thankful that I could watch the way that she mothered her children because I have used a lot of her skills with my own son. I was able to see what a household without hate was like and I learned so much from that. She was a very strong lady and I admire her for so many reasons. I became pregnant when I was 23 out of wedlock and was unable to confront the children after that. I was scared and I never really even said goodbye to the kids. I was ashamed of being the person that I wanted to not be like. Now I wouldn't change it for anything in the world because my son has taught me so much. His faith inspires me and I hope to always lead by example for him. The last time I seen this lady I was  getting married and with yet another disappointment I am now divorced. I know that she is non judgemental and that she will not look at me for my flaws but when I do see her again I hope to be finished with school and at least have some accomplishment to tell her. If I never get the chance this is what I would have said to her: Thank you, you were more than an inspiration to me through out all of the years that I was able to work with you and your family. You are a great example of what a mother should be and you are an honor to your household. If I were to consider anyone a true Proverbs 31 woman, it would be you. I have taken things that I watched you do and carried them with me. I have also remembered your advice and taken that with me as well. Thank you for always listening to me when I had so much to say at night. I look back and think about how I went on and on with silly issues and you were so kind to listen when you were dealing with issues of your own. I appreciate the time I was able to spend with your mother as well. She raised a wonderful woman and I know she received many treasures when she got to heaven. She and Stephen are together smiling down and have no more pain or sorrow. I know that I probably won't get to see you again and you may not ever read this but in my mind it is helping me close a chapter in my life that I felt was unfinished. Thanks again, Miss Amanda